Archive for the ‘State of the Blog’ Category
January 24th, 2010
If you’re looking at this in a feed aggregator, you really should come take a look in person.
Today I got really tired of my previous theme, so I downloaded a new one. It was pretty cool, but the header was pretty ugly.
“But!” you say, “That header up there looks amazing, exciting, and delicious all at once.”
Yes. Yes it does. That’s because it was designed by good awesome friend Rachael, aka caffeinatedelf. Sarah and I spent the afternoon hanging out with her and Troy, and we had a small website awesoming party. Also, I played a lot of Dragon Ball Z with Troy. And ate food. Good times all around.
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December 24th, 2009
At this time last year, I had grand plans for 2009. I was going to edit my novel, learn C#, get in shape, and find a new job so I could devote more time to all of those things and more. 2009 was going to be bigger, awesomer, and full of new beginnings.
2009 was kind of the opposite. I stopped writing, claiming to be putting all of my energy into my DnD campaign. I’m sure my players will testify that the energy was there in the beginning, but quickly tapered off.
I stopped working on C#, frustrated by the sheer amount of other things a person must know in order to be worth marginal consideration for a programming job. The fact that Microsoft has about three million different certifications you can waste money on obtain didn’t help.
I quit exercising, tired of people telling me I wasn’t doing enough, rather than supporting me and saying, “Excellent start!” to the little bit I was able to force myself to do.
I gave up on finding a new job and fell into a comfortable state of existence where I woke up early, hated every minute of the day, come home, whined at my wife, and played video games until I fell into bed.
But…
In March, I saw an old friend and was reminded of the potential I once had a musician. I started playing my guitar again, infrequently.
In September, my father in law loaned me a GuitarPort, and I started recording music on my computer again.
In November, a new friend almost died and I started re-thinking what I was doing with my life.
In December, I got into a small fender-bender, one that could have been prevented if I didn’t work for an evil man, and I got serious about changing the course of my life.
I don’t have any “resolutions” for 2010. There is one thing on my to-do list: Become self-employed. Everything else will fall into place if I can get out of my current work situation, so that’s what I intend to do. It’s kind of a scary thought, honestly, but thankfully there are some awesome people who believe in me and who are encouraging me to stick to it.
There are a number of things I want to do in my lifetime, most of which won’t happen in 2010. Next year is about laying the foundation for the life I want to live, rather than continuing to accept the life that I let happen to me.
Enjoy the holidays, everyone.
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August 15th, 2009
time does not wait in the car while you get your shit together. if you don’t have one foot out the door when time honks, time goes to graceland without you. so, while i’ve been standing in the bathroom applying eyeliner, time has gassed up, purchased munchies, and is somewhere on i-69.
i stopped blogging a while back because i completely burned out. it’s no secret that i’m unhappy at my current job, and i started looking at everything i did as a possible avenue of escape. every hobby, every skill, every craft became a lifeline to the point that i hated all of it and only continued because i hated my job even more. i stared back to a moment seven years ago, when i decided to move back to michigan, rather than stay in memphis and take a serious shot at a career in music, and hated myself for it.
needless to say, it took a toll on me. i couldn’t think, couldn’t focus, couldn’t remember why i loved doing things like writing in the first place.
so the wife made me take some time off. for the first couple months, i basically just played video games after work. we started playing dungeons & dragons. i’ve been acting as dungeon master for a while now. it’s been awesome. recently i resumed my programming/web development education. it’s painfully slow, but i’m making real progress. i’ve been playing more guitar. i haven’t been writing, but i’ll probably do nanowrimo this year.
i still want out of my job with a sick desperation, and i’m still prone to drastic mood swings, but i plan on visiting a doctor soon to see if there isn’t a physical element i can address that would take the edge off. i have noticed that exercise helps, so it might be blood sugar or brain chemicals being out of whack. we’ll see what happens there.
all of this to say, i want to be done letting time pass me by while i simultaneously stare at the past and the future. i’ve lost too many good days to the lethargy that comes from wanting to be anywhere but here. i still have goals i want to work toward, but i also have a right now that needs my attention, so i can’t let my goals suffocate me.
this post was brought to you by lowercase letters and my desire to shamelessly imitate stephen christian.
this post was also brought to you by rachael, who gave me the info to fix my wordpress issues. i would still just be swearing at the screen without her help.