This prompt called for “Songs you listen to when you are Happy, Sad, Bored, Hyped, Mad.” Here goes:

Happy – Black Mages – “Those Who Fight Further”; Tobuscus – “Literal Skyrim Trailer”

Sad – Metric – “Gimme Sympathy”; Gackt – “Mizerable”

Bored – Foo Fighters – “Bridge Burning”; Mastodon – “Oblivion”

Hyped – Chevelle – “Jars”; Fono – “Sunlight Silence”

Mad – Thrice – “Firebreather”; Further Seems Forever – “The Bradley”

I have been exercising consistently for the last week. I’m pretty freaking proud of that.

It’s not a New Year’s resolution thing. I’ve been trying to get the ball rolling since November,  but the holiday insanity kept interrupting me. Now that the holidays are over, it’s easier to focus, so BAM! A new habit.

Goal: One piece of music.
Why: I’m trying to beef up various music skills, and the best way to do it is to keep making music.

Goal: Pretty up the website
Why: Cuz it ugly.

Goal: 500 minutes of exercise.
Why: Because SparkPeople is giving away an iPad! Also, health and stuff.

Goal: Maybe get to a doctor.
Why: Because my wrist hurts and I have new insurance that doesn’t force me to always go to the same doctor who isn’t taking appointments and tells me to call back every morning at 8 and maybe they can squeeze me in.

This is the sort of topic that makes me freak out a little. I know which people might see this post, so I feel like I need to cater to them. For example, the thought of someone in my family seeing this makes me want to reach for an old family photo; coming from an Evangelical Christian background, I’m terrified that if I don’t put a picture of a Bible or Euro-Jesus that people will leave passive-aggressive messages about how I’m not a very good Christian. I talk a huge game about how much I loooove music, so I feel like maybe a guitar or a stack of sheet music should show up or people will think maybe I don’t really like it all that much.

Thankfully, I found a picture on Facebook that illustrates the thing that impacts me most:

One of us is afraid of heights, as well as most things.

Peer pressure.

Don’t get me wrong, I totally wanted to jump on that trampoline, but when there are two other people also jumping and you’re afraid of heights and the photographer is telling you all to hold hands and jump at the same time…

Anyway, the point is that the terror on my face contrasted with the excitement on Mike and Kevin’s is the perfect illustration of how I roll in many situations.

I don’t have friends that actively pressure me to do anything. Seriously, no one gets on my case to do stuff I don’t want to do. However, I create a lot of pressure in my mind and end up doing things that I don’t really want to do because I think my friends will look down on me if I don’t. For example, I’ve blown off plans to spend an entire Saturday writing music because a friend kindly asked if I wanted in on some game, and I didn’t feel comfortable saying “No thanks! Maybe later/tomorrow.” I think I’m getting better, though.

Look, I just started playing Star Wars: The Old Republic, so the Jedi are on my mind and it’s really tempting to just pick one and call this entry finished.

Buuuut… Fine, I’ll put some effort into it.

I’ve always really liked Spider Man. I have the most ridiculous fear of heights possible, so when I see pictures or play games that involve a masked hero swinging from buildings like it’s no big deal, I can’t help but imagine that it’s me, that I’m that high up and moving that fast, and that I’m not afraid.

Also, the spider-sense is frickin sweet.

Thank you, Google image search.

This is Mackinac Island, MI. It’s great because there are no cars and approximately 70% of the buildings on the island sell fudge or taffy. Also, historical stuff.

It’s been months since I last bit my nails, so I have to actually think hard about this one. Hmm…

Well, I fell off the coffee wagon recently. Or jumped on the bandwagon? Whatever. I hate caffeine dependence because I hate caffeine withdrawal headaches on weekends. It’s just hard to maintain the same sleep schedule in the winter when Mr. Sun is slacking off, so 7am starts feeling like 4am and everything falls to pieces.

I’m the groom in this picture.

On the far left is Mike, seated next to his brother Kevin. Behind them (again from the left) are Jeremy, Olson, and DonSlice.

The bride is Sarah. Seated next to her are Jenny and Melanie. Behind them are Beth, Adrienne, and my sister, Karen.

I don’t have any other pictures on my laptop, and I’m writing this from Starbucks, so I’ll just give a shout-out to everyone else: Denny, Matt, Autumn, Tim, Kate, Dave, Dana, James, Amanda, Joel, Holly, Troy, and anyone I may have forgotten because I haven’t seen you in a while (we should get together sometime). And of course Krista, who I stole these prompts from.

When I game, my handle is typically StanManX. In grade school, “Stan” became a communal nickname that I shared with two of my friends (no, I’m not telling the story of how that came about), but in junior high one of those friends bestowed it upon me. “Stanman” was guaranteed to be taken at all websites, so I stole a little from Mega Man X.

Offline, most people call me Stan — friends, coworkers, some of my friends’ parents – so it makes about as much sense as calling it “Matt’s blog” or something.